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17 June 2016:
Vardy and Hodgkin showing their moves.
Jason from Manchester showed us this:

5 September 2010:
New England top is awful
John from Kelso doesn't rate the new England top, saying:
"It's a bloody auful top. For a start it has 3 Leopards on it and those little multi-coloured St George's flags are terrible."

28 June 2010:
Woe from Mauritius (An English colony?)
Jean Luc in Mauritius isn't happy about the local newspaper:
"I am a French football fan living in Mauritius where we have to suffer year in, year out, from the local craze for ENGLAND (God knows why: the locals must be masochists)! On top of that, a local paper 'WEEK-END' has a 2 page weekly Sunday Edition dedicated to the EPL and England written by Bob HARRIS, a so-called 'Independent Journalist', who trumpets how great England is at football. The guy could be part of your Muppet Show."

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24 June 2010:
England v Germany - penalty shootout???
Dean in Dundee writes:
"I'm pleased England are in the last 16. Now they have the opportunity to crash on on penalties:)) Come on Germany!"
23 June 2010:
Slovenia 7-1 odds!?
Colin in Hamilton writes:
"I can't believe those English bookies. Slovenia have odds of 7-1 against winning. Are they crazy? So far Slovenia have played better and gained more points than England, and are top of Group C."
19 June 2010:
3 Tampons?
Welshbybirth on Twitter says:
"I think we should replace the three lions with three tampons due to English football's worst period in years"
18 June 2010:
Fabio_Capello_ isn't happy
We came acrosss Fabio_Capello_ on Twitter.
He seems upset.
Fabio Capello
18 June 2010:
England heading home after group stage?
Fraser from Rutherglen is looking forward to the England v Slovenia match.
"I watched the great England performance tonight. They were shit:). Bring on Slovenia."
13 June 2010:
Peter Green appreciated in Scotland
Robert in Forfar says:
"Peter Green, player of the tournament so far? ROFL"
12 June 2010:
England fans/guys in pink skirts (?!), etc
Matt in Nottingham brought some interesting pictures to light:
Pictures of support for England, some just a little disturbing - Click here
England house England fan in a pink skirt
England support
8 June 2010:
Duncan Hamilton stands up for anyone not supporting England
Tam from Toryglen says:
"A big thanks to Duncan Hamilton and the Scotland on Sunday for showing that noone needs to feel they have to support England - http://scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com"
6 June 2010:
Wayne Rooney bonkerness in Manchester
Scott in East Kilbride sent us this:
"Jeez. Anyone read about the pub in Manchester where everyone has changed their name to Wayne Rooney? - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/10206575.stm"
31 May 2010:
England missing penalties - a familiar story
James in Glasgow noted:
"England missed a penalty against Japan. That doesn't bode well for England's World Cup campaign."
21 Aug 2008:
England team are 'Wasters'
Dave in Wandsworth says:
"This is what The Sun had to say abot the England v Czech Republic game:
'WASTERS - Our pampered 'stars' back home shame the national game yet again.'
Anyone disagree?"
26 Nov 2007:
Steve McClaren sings:
Paul in London sent us this:

Steve McClaren sings
Steve McClaren sings
22 Nov 2007:
England's staying home
Olaf in London sent us the new version of a favourite England song:

3 Lions - 2008 Version

We're staying home, we're staying home
We're staying - England's staying home
We're staying home, we're staying home
We're staying - England's staying home

Everyone surely knew the score
McClaren is a bore
We just knew
Were so sure
That England's gonna throw it away
Gonna blow it away
Lamps and Gerrard can't play
And we remember

Crouchie on his own
Macca's teeth still gleaming
Relying on Israel
England leave us screaming

So many jokes, so many sneers
They've fulfilled all our fears
In one night
At Wem-bley

I still see the first goal Kranjcar scored
Olic rolling it home
Petric belting the ball
And Carson helpless

Crouchie on his own
Macca's teeth still gleaming
Relying on Israel
England leave us screaming
I know that was then,
But it could be again

We're staying home, we're staying home
We're staying, England's staying home
We're staying home, we're staying home
We're staying, England's staying home

Three lions on a shirt
Jules Rimet much faded
McClaren, Barwick f**k off
Lest we get more jaded.
20 Oct 2007:
Who will help England beat Croatia?
Ewan in Thurso says:
"We all know England will win against Croatia, just like victory was expected in Russia. So, who will assist in this effort? How about Paul Robinson and Gary Neville? Croatia will be to busy wetting themsleves laughing at the memory of the game in Croatia to play a decent game."
8 Jun 2007:
Graham Taylor enrages Scotland fans
At least one Scotland fan is livid at Graham Taylor's recent commemt about Scotland being 'a second division team'. William in Moffat writes:

"Who does that numbnut Taylor think he is calling Scotland 'second division'!!. Listen pal, Scotland are on the way up and England are going in the opposite direction. England's drop in form is their own fault and if they want to do something about it noone is stopping them. But there is absolutely no need to take cheap shots at the Scotland team. I'd like to see you come north of the border and explain your opinions. Or maybe we should settle the argument at Hampden or Wembley??"
Graham Taylor
Graham Taylor
- target of Scottish rage
2 Jun 2007:
Scotland to play England in August?
Scotland have an unconfirmed friendly in August and there is much discussion about who would be the ideal opposition. Fraser in Reading suggests England.:

"We need someone who will give us a good game without us suffering an unecessay defeat prior to going off to France. How about ENGLAND? No chance of those guys beating us!"
Scotland Fans
Scotland Fans
20 Feb 2007:
More or less friendlies? More or less entertainment!
Rab from Castlemilk said this about England friendlies:
"What are the English going on about with their talk about reducing the number of friendlies? Am dead against it. Those games are pure entertainment. Hats off tae the Spanish! Next please."
Andres Iniesta
Andres Iniesta
2 Dec 2006:
Steve McClaren, Top Englishman?
Kenny wrote to say:
"Scotland Coach, Walter Smith, has just been voted Top Scot for his efforts managing the Scottish national team. Any chance Steve McClaren might recieve a similar award? I doubt it. We're top of our league and you're no'."

He also asked us to mention his new Scotland Football blog, Tartan Army Soldier. Check it out.
12 Oct 2006:
Scotland loves Paul Robinson
Kenny says:
"Paul Robinson, what a star!! Thanks for the result in Croatia: Scotland loved it. Paul Robinson for Scotland's England player of the year."
20 July 2006:
Saddam found guilty
Gaz sent us this:

BAGHDAD, (Reuters) - Saddam Hussein has been found guilty of war crimes and has been sentenced to death by firing squad.

The Court has granted his last request which was to name his own firing squad.

Mr. Hussein chose Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher from 12 yards.
7 July 2006:
Danny hates Wayne Rooney
Danny wrote to tell us:
...that he hates Wayne Rooney enough to make this website.
Fat Rooney
"I hate Wayne Rooney"
6 July 2006:
Vote for Christiano Ronaldo
Scott in Surrey says:
"There is currently a campaign by the English to prevent Christiano Ronaldo from being named World Cup young player of the year. The English have been voting for the second placed player (an Ecquador player). This is clearly wrong!"

Check out the FIFA website to vote for Ronaldo.
4 July 2006:
Video nasties, if you're English. Otherwise, fun.
Justin, The Happy Scotsman, sent us these links:




3 July 2006:
Crouch with his peers?
Bill from Arbroath sent us this image:
With his career not looking to hot after Germany 2006, Peter Crouch has decided to go back to school.
Peter Crouch
Peter Crouch, back at school
2 July 2006:
Three Lions?
Alec from Perth says:
"Three lions??? Sh*te! More like three numb-nuts who can't take penalties. Oh yeh, and a Shrek-like thug. Good riddence to bad rubbish."
23 June 2006:
Karate Crouch
William from Selkirk sent us this picture of Peter Crouch taking part in a karate tournament. Considering his recent performance, we can see why he might consider changing sport.
Peter Crouch
Peter Crouch, Karate King
17 June 2006:
"Fat, dizzy and blistered"
The Associated Press, KOENIGSTEIN, GERMANY (and others) reports:
After his shoddy efforts against the Croatians, Ronaldo is receiving little sympathy. With high expectiations to live up a disappointed public are rounding on the Brazilian star. Comments about his poor performance and weight problem are rife. Even 'Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva got involved in the weight controversy'.
Who ate all the pies?
15 June 2006:
Peter Crouch, Freak
Ralph from Dortmund sent us this:
It seems our German friend doesn't like Peter Crouch very much - refers to him as a "freak". Can't see why.
Peter Crouch
12 June 2006:
Pure nae Mars bars
Angus in London reports:
"I just spent the weekend in Edinburgh. Could't find a Mars bar if my life had depended on it. Can you Believe that??"
8 June 2006:
Peter Crouch, dance thief?
Raymond from Paisley says:
"I & we (Scottish St Mirren fans), have came to the conclusion (rather obviously) that Peter Crotch sorry Crouch is a cheap man's Billy Memhet.... Billy was the man that done this dance when he scored the goal that gifted Saints SPL football next season, he scored his first goal for the club against Dundee towards the end of last season."
Billy Memhet
Billy Memhet, not Peter Crouch
4 June 2006:
Scotland don't seem too keen on supporting England
Barrie from Scotland sent us this:

Mars bar
31 May 2006:
Scotland doesn't believe in Mars
Andrew from Edinburgh reports:
"Ha ha! Mars arn't selling as many of those stupid Believe bars here in Scotland. The word is sales are down significantly. Believe in lower profits ya mugs!"
Mars bars sales falling in Scotland
Falling sales in Scotland
26 May 2006:
Spirit of '66
David from Edinburgh reckons that:
"We will undoubtedly lose count of the number of times the English will refer to the spirit of 66...1966. But when England falls at the first hurdle then it will be us Scots that will be able to refer to the English spirit of 66...er, that'll be England 1066!!"

Poor deluded Englishmen
Adam in Scotland says:
"I feel sorry for the English, they've obviously lost their minds, they seem to think that they can beat Brazil... I would pity them if it werent so damn funny."
22 May 2006:
BBC Commentary Guidelines
Fraser in Reading claims to have found the BBC World Cup Guidelines for the commentary team:
  1. Within 1 minute of kick off in the opening match (Germany v Costa Rica), the commentator must mention England.
  2. Regardless of what two teams are contesting the final, England have to be mentioned within the first minute.
  3. The commentator shall refer to the Falkland Isles in passing at some point in the match if England play Argentina.
  4. Whenever a hat trick is scored, comparisons with Geoff Hurst will be made within seconds of the third goal hitting the net.
  5. Should England wear their red jerseys, then '1966' should be mentioned approximately 20 times.
  6. 1966 will be mentioned approximately 10 times a match, or only on 4 or 5 occasions for matches not involving England.
  7. Prior to the captain of the winning team lifting the trophy, the commentator will mention Bobby Moore. And 1966.
  8. When Germany are playing, they must be referred to as being arrogant by the commentator on at least 14 occasions. This must refer to their style, their passing, their haircuts and their general footballing ability.
  9. Should England play Germany, mentions of Winston Churchill, Dambusters, The Luftwaffe and Adolf Hitler will be compulsory. And 1966.
  10. All Scottish members of our commentary team must continue to refer to England as "we" and "us".
  11. We must ensure that nationlistic stereotypes are adhered to. Of course, the Germans are arrogant. The Spanish are bottlers, The Ivory Coast are fast but bad at defending, The Angolans are disorganised, The Argentinians are cheats and the French are only good because their best players play in England.
  12. For matches not involving England, we must only discuss the players that are playing in England. (eg - Holland v Argentina should be referred to as Van Nistelroy v Crespo).
  13. The mythical "bulldog spirit" phrase should be used as often as possible.
  14. Each match involving England should begin with the phrase "England Expects."
  15. Should any player be involved in an injury that involves the loss of teeth, then references to Nobby Stiles and 1966 are compulsory.
  16. If in doubt, mention 1966.
  17. Praise all of the stunning new stadiums in Germany but emphasise that they lack the presence of Wembley, the spiritual home of football since 1966.
  18. Commentators should feel free to imitate the style of Kenneth Wolstenholme, the hero of 1966.
  19. Should any team feature brothers playing together, then Jackie and Bobby Charlton should be mentioned.
  20. When England bow out after the first stage, we must emphasise that it is a massive blow to football and a serious loss to the World Cup
19 May 2006:
Thoughts from Germany
Ralph from Dortmund sent us some pictures of Timmy from South Park and Peter Crouch
Peter Crouch Timmy!
Timmy and Peter Crouch
16 May 2006:
Appreciation for Paulo
RF from Partick says:
"Pass round the Ferreira Rochers big chap......With these tackles you will be spoiling us!"
13 May 2006:
Scotland win Kirin Cup
Rab from Govan writes:
"Scotland wins Kirin Cup. No home advantage or dodgy decision from Russian linesman required."
Scotland win Kirin Cup
Scotland win Kirin Cup
9 May 2006:
England fans unhappy with Eriksson's selections
We received several comments expressing concern about Sven's choices for the England World Cup squad.
James said: "I can't believe an Arsenal reserve got picked ahead of Jermaine Defoe. Has Sven lost his mind!?" We're sre five million north of the border hope so.
Meanwhile, Mike form Liverpool reckons "Eriksson is a liability. McClaren should take over now."
Dave from Brixton asks, "There's a kid near my flat who knows how to kick a ball and has never played a full game for Arsenal. Can he get place next to Walcott?"
8 May 2006:
Ferreira, up for award
Charles (from Scotland?) seems pleased:
"The first Scotland World Cup 2006 Player of the Tournament candidate is Chelsea's Paulo Ferreira. Nice one pal."
Ferreira tackles Rooney
Ferreira tackles Rooney
1 May 2006:
Regards from Scotland
Andrea from Glasgow writes:
"Oh no! The handsome Mr Rooney will not be blessing our TV screens this Summer. Whatever will we do?"
Wayne Rooney Shrek
Shrek and Wayne Rooney
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